Safety

Look son, I don’t mind you having sex, it’s only natural for a boy of your age.  I just want to make sure that you’re playing it safe, that’s where me and your mother went wrong and ended up with you.

I’m kidding.  I got you for dirt cheap off a stork down the pub one night.  Got some cheap foreign fags off him too.

I’m kidding.  Your mother’s barren.  We stole you from a hospital in Lithuania.  We’re wanted criminals there still.

I’m kidding.  We ended up with you because your granddad couldn’t keep it in his pants when it came to young girls.  He paid me off to tell everyone I got her pregnant.

I’m kidding.  Anyway, I’ll let you pair of kids get back to it, I know I’m cramping your style, three’s a crowd and all that.